Posted on August 22nd, 2008 by Dave
I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.
— Diane Ackerman
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. — Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Most people die at about age 24, they just wait until years later to be buried.— Zig Ziglar
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What comprises the width of your life? What matters greatly to you? What makes you truely happy? What makes life worth living for you?
You are the only one who knows the answers to these questions. No one else can give you the answers. Don’t allow yourself to create answers that you SHOULD have. Living life based on the shoulda’s and the oughta’s only results in resentment and failure.
Think about what you spend your time on when you have nothing else to do. Think about what your mind wanders to when it has nothing else to think about. What craving do you have that keeps coming back to you even after you try to squelch it? Throw away the goals that you set because you feel you SHOULD reach them … and set new goals based on the things that really are a deep and integral part of YOU!
Filed under: Be True to Yourself, Choices, Core values, Joy, Living Your Passion, True to Self | No Comments »
Posted on August 20th, 2008 by Dave
“There are too many mediocre things in life. Love should not be one of them”.— David to Frankie in the movie “Dream for an Insomniac”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OH NO … this is not as simple a thought as you are nodding your head in agreement with right now! Let’s not stop our thoughts with love for another person. What about love for what you do with your life? What about love for yourself? What about love for your parents … WHAT ABOUT LOVE for LIFE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I often refer to my feelings about living life without passion … or living life simply contented. This is another way of saying it. Love (live) life with Passion (not just contentedly)…. love someone PASSIONATELY (never mediocrely). DO what you LOVE — and DO IT PASSIONATELY (never, ever mediocrely) … Love your extended family VIGOROUSLY (not luke-warmly) … And definitely Love yourself (A LOT) … LOVE LIFE PASSIONATELY — darn it … don’t love (and don’t live) any part of your life mediocrely … Love it (Live it) to the MAX. OK? — let’s all nod our heads in agreement with the totality of NEVER letting Love be a mediocre thing in our lives … not any part of our Life!
Books I urge you to read (not so that you will agree with them, but so that they can challenge you … and thereby, strengthen how you feel about things:
“Spirit Song” — Mary Summer Rain
“Wherever You Go That’s Where You Are” — Jon Kabat-Zinn
“Take Yourself to the Top” — Laura Berman Fortgang
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Filed under: Be True to Yourself, Friendship, Joy, Living Your Passion, Love, Passion, Relationship, True to Self | No Comments »
Posted on August 18th, 2008 by Dave
“Too often, our lives cease working because we cease working at life, because we are unwilling to take responsibility for things as they are, and to work with our difficulties. … It is so much easier to find fault, to blame, to believe that what is needed is a change on the outside, an escape from the forces that are holding you back, preventing you from growing, from finding happiness.”— Jon Kabat-Zinn (”Wherever You Go There You Are” — pg. 196)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every time I have felt “BLOCKED” from growing toward greater happiness, I have discovered that until I take responsibility for my actions, I will not grow an inch from where I am.
Being defensive, passing blame onto others, making oneself feel “better” by finding fault in others, thinking that nothing is going to get better until something changes (your job, your spouse, your location, your circumstances), these are all ways that we try to “protect” or “defend” ourselves …. But NONE of them ever makes us happy. Be true to yourself and accept responsibility for what goes along with it … that is what brings real happiness … and no … I am not saying that is easy .. but I am saying it is worth the effort.
Filed under: Accepting, Be True to Yourself, True to Self | No Comments »
Posted on August 16th, 2008 by Dave
There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.
—Buckminster Fuller
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Think about the incredible change that occurs during metamorphosis … from crawling to flying .. from dull to spectacular … from fat & sluggish to light and airy. What metamorphosis can you go through? Nothing is too great a change for you … light & airy …. spectacular beauty … shedding one “persona” and BECOMING totally new! You can change into ANYTHING!
But what does the caterpillar do before it becomes a butterfly? It takes some time to “cocoon”. Time to isolate itself. Perhaps if each of us would take some “cocooning” time, we would begin our own metamorphosis?
Filed under: Be True to Yourself, Choices, True to Self | No Comments »
Posted on August 14th, 2008 by Dave
(older lady) — “But are you happy? Are you really happy with your life, with your profession … right now?”
(younger man)— “Well, I AM working TOWARD that.”
— Chicago Hope (TV Show)
“Let each one examine his thoughts, and he will find them all occupied with the past and the future. We scarcely ever think of the present, and if we think of it, it is only to take light from it to arrange the future …. So we never live, but we only hope to live; and, as we are always preparing to be happy, it is inevitable we should never be so.
— Pascal
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do I look at happiness? Is it always in the future … always something I am working toward? Is there always some things that I need to do first? Am I “hoping” (or “planning”) to be happy soon?
BE IN THE PRESENT. I hear that all the time; but what does it really mean?
It means to enjoy life as I live it. To revel in whatever is happening right now …. not what I am “expecting” to enjoy in the future. It means to enjoy the journey … and not wait until I reach the destination. And it means to love those times when there is joy just in being alive … stop worrying that I am wasting time or not moving forward!
Dream as if you will live forever … but LIVE as if you have very little time left.
Filed under: Be True to Yourself, Living Your Passion | No Comments »
Posted on August 12th, 2008 by Dave
“‘We don’t manage the business to maximize anything but the quality of the coffee’ … He wasn’t calculating how to maximize sales; he was providing people with something he believed they ought to enjoy. It was an approach to business and to selling that was as fresh and novel to me as the Starbucks coffee we were drinking.”— Howard Schultz, President and CEO of Starbucks in “Pour Your Heart Into It” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Schultz is right … in life as well as in business, putting people and their enjoyment first is often furthest from the top priority! Competitiveness, personal agendas, self-centeredness, not taking responsibility for our actions, getting more money (or stuff), — they all seem to push people and joy to the back burner.
BUT … compare the feelings inside you when you DO put people and their joy first with the feelings inside when you “beat” someone or when you make money at the detriment of someone else’s joy (or get more stuff at their expense). You know in your heart what feels better. It’s just another choice that each of us makes … to feel good, or to get more stuff.
And often, soon after you feel good, miraculously, you get more “good stuff”.
Filed under: Be True to Yourself, Choices, Joy | No Comments »
Posted on August 10th, 2008 by Dave
“Some African tribes believe forgiveness is essential to life. When we cannot forgive, we deny ourselves health and our future because we remain stuck in the past.
There are those who say we must never forget history or personal attacks because we will not remember to protect ourselves in the future. Pain is an incredible teacher; but we can learn and then let it go.
Forgive whenever you can. Work at it. Let go of guilt and resentment as tools of negotiation.
Your health, your survival and your peace of mind depend on your willingness to commit to tomorrow.” — Jennifer James in “WINDOWS” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If something is still on your mind …. if it keeps “popping” into your thoughts …. if it steals your thoughts from the ones that are much more enjoyable (or productive), then perhaps forgiveness would help. Incompletions are a majorFoir drain on our energy. One of the fastest ways to increase your energy is to come to completion with the “stuff” that you are incomplete about.
IMPORTANT: getting complete cannot be done in your mind … it requires both CONVERSATION and ACTION. Try it … if you need to forgive someone … GO to them and TELL them you forgive them. And see how much energy you gain when that situation is no longer in your thoughts
Filed under: Accepting, Forgiveness, Relationship | No Comments »
Posted on August 8th, 2008 by Dave
“There are many who are living far below their possibilities because they are continually handing over their individualities to others. Do you want to be a power in the world? Then be yourself. Be true to the highest within your soul and then allow yourself to be governed by no customs or conventionalities or arbitrary man-made rules that are not founded on principle.”— Ralph Waldo Trine
“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want and all that is left is a compromise.”— Robert Fritz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do we settle. Why do we give-up our SELF and replace it with a copy of someone else? Why do we compromise the BIG something that we want and settle for that which is enough for someone else? Trading the fullness, the essence, the passion and gthe exuberance of YOU for the contentment, the safety, the comfort of what others think is “living”.
Is the world a better place with a bunch of robots everywhere? Ugh! …. Why do we settle for so much less than we are and accept the emotions which come with that (ie. half-happiness, just contentment, a safe stupor) instead of LIVING LIFE? Because we are afraid? Afraid of what? What others will say about us? Afraid that the excitement of living our real LIFE will create pain? Afraid of the envy of everyone else who know down inside that they ache to be themselves too? Hmmmmmm …. I am running out of reasons not to be MYSELF!!!!!! How about you????? … but … do you have the GUTS to be YOU?
Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »
Posted on August 7th, 2008 by Dave
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.”
— Antoine de Saint-Exupery (The Little Prince)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I always try to make “right” decisions. But if I only search with my eyes, I make superficial ones. When I stop and allow my heart to have input, then truly right choices are made. It is work, but I am shifting to a point at which I slow down and allow my heart to effect each of my choices. Even when I cannot “defend” my choice with logic, I am learning that I make better choices when I include input from heart as well as my eye. Sometimes there are no logical reasons why I make a choice, but it is still the right choice.
Filed under: Choices, Core values, True to Self | 1 Comment »
Posted on August 6th, 2008 by Dave
“This morning I woke up and really wanted to have a soda and a pizza for breakfast … but I didn’t. It seemed more logical, more ‘normal’ to have toast and juice. I think that on my death-bed, I am really going to regret all that pizza that I didn’t eat.
On the other hand Max, you are not going to have all those regrets. You live life your way, Max; and I respect you for that.”
— Doctor to patient on “Chicago Hope” (TV show)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AH yes …. the regrets that go along with living your life as you SHOULD live it … rather than living it the way you WANT to live it. Trying to live this perfect life — the one “the world” (whoever that may be) defines for us; it seems so easy. But none of us are “the world.” We are each just “us” and I have a different life that is perfect for me and you have a different life that is perfect for you.
When I don’t live life MY way, I am not as happy as I can be. My highest happiness only comes when I am living MY life. Regrets are a terrible thing, and not eating enough pizza for breakfast is only one of many. What are you regretting? How can you stop things that you regret?
Filed under: Be True to Yourself, Choices, True to Self | No Comments »